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Newly Pierced Ears: A Tale of Agony and Gore

tina tang

By Tina's DaughterSo yeah, I turned 18 about 2 months ago, and I decided it was about time I get my ears pierced. I'm Tina's daughter for Christ's sake! I should have a couple of holes in my ears!The actual piercing was not painful, it's just that I stupidly told the guy to stick some $3 Duane Reid hoops in the new wounds. He had a hell of a time getting them on, probably because the hoops were made out of leftover chicken-wire from a corporate farm in China. And they probably contained trace amounts of arsenic. But the most damning thing about the hoops was that they didn't really close all the way. So fast-forward to a month later, when I finally take off the hoops. They got kinda "grown in", so I had to really pry those guys out of my flesh. And that's when I noticed that the back of each earlobe had closed up. "Aww crap!" I grumbled. "Now I gotta open em up again!"But instead of going back to the piercer, I took the DIY (cheapskate) route and got together some rubbing alcohol, a sewing needle, and a thimble, and commenced the bloody impalement. I didn't have any other earrings lying around, so I actually put two thick safety pins into the holes, which I left in for a week. And even through all of this ghetto surgery, I did not get any sort of infection! I'M SPECIALAnd the lesson of this story: Don't be an idiot like me. Fill your piercings with actual jewelry. Like Tina Tang's.Also, hoops aren't too good for new piercings. They should be studs. These guys would be great starters:

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